There is a saying, originating Levor tells me, from Nietzsche. It goes: "That which does not kill us makes us stronger". It took me years of using this saying and applying it to life to work out that it is wrong. Not only is it wrong, it presents a view of the world which is destructive.
It's wrong because some things are really hard and actually make us weak. When we lose people who give us strength and courage and remind us of who we are, we are made weaker. Merely surviving the loss does not make us stronger. When we go through something really hard, it can make us stronger in some ways and leave us shaken and weak in others. Life is not so simple that everything that hurts us (but doesn't kill us) puts wind in our sails in some way.
And the view of the world it presents is upside down. We don't have value because we are strong. If we are rendered weak by the circumstances in our lives, we aren't less as people. We might feel hollowed out, and we might be able to do less, but life is not about our productivity or our independence. Life is about our relationships and what we give to each other, and we don't need to be strong to love those around us and do good to them.
Nietzsche I believe died of syphilis. Prior to his demise his sister made money from 'showing him' to others - her raving, pitiful brother, who was no stronger from having met a disease which did ultimately kill him. Ironic for a man who despised pity as a weakness.
And those of us who know Jesus, know his goodness is demonstrated by his pity for those of us who are weak and pitiful: that is one of the things we love about him. Not that he makes us strong but lends us his strength and encourages us in our weakness, showing us what love looks like so we can love those around us like this and not despise their weakness. It is a great freedom to be able to confess our weakness and yet have meaning and strength outside of ourselves.
Tuesday, 27 March 2007
Tuesday, 20 March 2007
More Little People
Here are more of my niece and nephews, being hyperactive. (The niece is growing into the super-energetic thing more slowly...)
Sunday, 18 March 2007
A List
A list means that a blog is the genuine article. Not having a list on this blog has caused hours of introspection and anxiety for this little blog, and as an act of kindness, I its benevolent patron will now provide a list to soothe the sensitive feelings of the blog.
The List
Top Five Things I Like About Church
1. In some strange way I wind up caring about a bunch of people some of whom I really like, but some of whom really annoy me. And yet it really matters to me how they are and how well they are going. I like that because it is certainly not something I could do myself... definitely God at work!
2. Music. I never really sing outside of church and even though I don't always really like the music and sometimes even think it's a bit dreary, I enjoy singing songs about Jesus with other people.
3. Liturgy. I like praying the same prayers each week and out aloud with a group of people. The theology behind the liturgy is first-rate and therefore though they are prayed each week, the prayers are enriching and good to pray. The pattern of thanksgiving and confession, the creeds and the final prayer commending ourselves to God give us all a framework to think about God and respond to him, doing things we might not normally do during the week (even though we should).
4. Good sermons. I've heard a lot of good sermons, which have been well preached and changed me, even when I haven't known it or noticed it particularly. A lot of these have been preached by Levor, who is, it must be said, a great preacher. I could be biased on that point, but I really miss it now that he hardly ever preaches.
5. Bible reading. This can be done badly of course, but when it is done well it really rocks. Especially when we read more passages than we need for just the sermon. It's good to have Bible readings which intersect with what I might be reading or be completely different, and reading them aloud slows us down so we really pay attention.
Top Five Things I Hate About Church
1. Silly petty people. There aren't many but it never fails to amaze me how some people can be so nasty over such meaningless things. I guess you find them everywhere, not just church but it is always especially disappointing to find them at church because we're supposed to be a group of people learning how to love each other. And I walk away from encounters with these kinds of people wondering if they are even interested in trying to learn to love other people.
2. Poorly exegeted, badly delivered, shoddily applied, boring sermons. This is hard because often I get quite angry and spend the time I should be listening deciding how I would do the sermon better. Sometimes a great deal better. The challenge is to still listen and sit under the word rather than stand above it and rearrange it. Because it is still a sermon and I still am responsible to listen and let the word of God sink deeply into my heart. I guess it's one of those tricky temptations to think that because I could preach it better I don't need to listen to it. It's hard to remember that it doesn't work like that. (And its futile to pretend that I couldn't preach it better; there is probably pride there, yeah, but hey, it's true and I'm not going to pretend that I couldn't preach better sermons than some I've heard.)
3. Service leaders who think they are actually stand up comics. They aren't. They should connect with their inner comedian elsewhere.
4. Too much ball-dropping. Some informality is fine. When there is mistake after mistake after mistake, it just gets hard to keep engaging. And when so many of the mistakes could be easily prevented, it's hard to be patient because there is a sense that the people responsible for the mistakes haven't really cared.
5. Technology that doesn't work. I know, computers make it all easier and shinier. And when they don't work, it's worse than using an OHP.
There we have it. Not one list but two, and on the one post! My little blog can now feel actualised.
The List
Top Five Things I Like About Church
1. In some strange way I wind up caring about a bunch of people some of whom I really like, but some of whom really annoy me. And yet it really matters to me how they are and how well they are going. I like that because it is certainly not something I could do myself... definitely God at work!
2. Music. I never really sing outside of church and even though I don't always really like the music and sometimes even think it's a bit dreary, I enjoy singing songs about Jesus with other people.
3. Liturgy. I like praying the same prayers each week and out aloud with a group of people. The theology behind the liturgy is first-rate and therefore though they are prayed each week, the prayers are enriching and good to pray. The pattern of thanksgiving and confession, the creeds and the final prayer commending ourselves to God give us all a framework to think about God and respond to him, doing things we might not normally do during the week (even though we should).
4. Good sermons. I've heard a lot of good sermons, which have been well preached and changed me, even when I haven't known it or noticed it particularly. A lot of these have been preached by Levor, who is, it must be said, a great preacher. I could be biased on that point, but I really miss it now that he hardly ever preaches.
5. Bible reading. This can be done badly of course, but when it is done well it really rocks. Especially when we read more passages than we need for just the sermon. It's good to have Bible readings which intersect with what I might be reading or be completely different, and reading them aloud slows us down so we really pay attention.
Top Five Things I Hate About Church
1. Silly petty people. There aren't many but it never fails to amaze me how some people can be so nasty over such meaningless things. I guess you find them everywhere, not just church but it is always especially disappointing to find them at church because we're supposed to be a group of people learning how to love each other. And I walk away from encounters with these kinds of people wondering if they are even interested in trying to learn to love other people.
2. Poorly exegeted, badly delivered, shoddily applied, boring sermons. This is hard because often I get quite angry and spend the time I should be listening deciding how I would do the sermon better. Sometimes a great deal better. The challenge is to still listen and sit under the word rather than stand above it and rearrange it. Because it is still a sermon and I still am responsible to listen and let the word of God sink deeply into my heart. I guess it's one of those tricky temptations to think that because I could preach it better I don't need to listen to it. It's hard to remember that it doesn't work like that. (And its futile to pretend that I couldn't preach it better; there is probably pride there, yeah, but hey, it's true and I'm not going to pretend that I couldn't preach better sermons than some I've heard.)
3. Service leaders who think they are actually stand up comics. They aren't. They should connect with their inner comedian elsewhere.
4. Too much ball-dropping. Some informality is fine. When there is mistake after mistake after mistake, it just gets hard to keep engaging. And when so many of the mistakes could be easily prevented, it's hard to be patient because there is a sense that the people responsible for the mistakes haven't really cared.
5. Technology that doesn't work. I know, computers make it all easier and shinier. And when they don't work, it's worse than using an OHP.
There we have it. Not one list but two, and on the one post! My little blog can now feel actualised.
Thursday, 15 March 2007
Now we are 12!
12 years goes very quickly and it turns out that on the 4th March, Levor and I had been married for 12 years. Our wedding anniversaries are pretty much always a disaster because one of us gets sick or something, so we know not to try celebrating on the actual date. True to form, I was sick on the 4th, so we celebrated last Sunday and had a most excellent day.
We went to Bundeena and had a picnic on the beach, and then climbed up through the bush to the cliffs which overlook the ocean. And there we sat and watched the waves crash and the wind whip the water and toss the boats. It was good.
Then we went home and rehydrated (it was hot!), and walked over to the park near us where the Sydney Symphony Orchestra was playing for free. It was so hot they had to start an hour late (to preserve the expensive violins from the heat, apparently). We were worried it would be trashy classical music, but it was robust stuff (including the Lark's Ascension by Williams) and they played really well. We sat on the grass and shared cheese and port as the sun set and the air cooled. The ants were pretty happy about the cheese as well, so it was good that we could provide added protein for their diet at the same time.
It's a good surprise to be married for this long. The stats said we'd only make 4 years, so to get this far is humbling and makes me very grateful. And we've lived 2/3rds of our married life in Sydney, which is unexpected. And given we're in our early thirties, we've been married about 1/3rd of our lives, so I expect we are now completely different people to when we were married, having influenced each other for that long. Marriage is such a big thing, in this regard - you really hand yourself over to someone and risk all your emotional space for them, and take on their hurts and triumphs and sorrows and you can't remember where you stop and they start sometimes. I think if I'd realised how big it was 12 years ago I would have been too scared to say 'I do'.
But it still feels like no time at all! So, I'm glad that being married is for a lifetime because even a bit over a decade doesn't feel like long enough. Or maybe I'm just sentimental about Levor, whose company is so enjoyable and who is, on some days the only sane person in the world.
We went to Bundeena and had a picnic on the beach, and then climbed up through the bush to the cliffs which overlook the ocean. And there we sat and watched the waves crash and the wind whip the water and toss the boats. It was good.
Then we went home and rehydrated (it was hot!), and walked over to the park near us where the Sydney Symphony Orchestra was playing for free. It was so hot they had to start an hour late (to preserve the expensive violins from the heat, apparently). We were worried it would be trashy classical music, but it was robust stuff (including the Lark's Ascension by Williams) and they played really well. We sat on the grass and shared cheese and port as the sun set and the air cooled. The ants were pretty happy about the cheese as well, so it was good that we could provide added protein for their diet at the same time.
It's a good surprise to be married for this long. The stats said we'd only make 4 years, so to get this far is humbling and makes me very grateful. And we've lived 2/3rds of our married life in Sydney, which is unexpected. And given we're in our early thirties, we've been married about 1/3rd of our lives, so I expect we are now completely different people to when we were married, having influenced each other for that long. Marriage is such a big thing, in this regard - you really hand yourself over to someone and risk all your emotional space for them, and take on their hurts and triumphs and sorrows and you can't remember where you stop and they start sometimes. I think if I'd realised how big it was 12 years ago I would have been too scared to say 'I do'.
But it still feels like no time at all! So, I'm glad that being married is for a lifetime because even a bit over a decade doesn't feel like long enough. Or maybe I'm just sentimental about Levor, whose company is so enjoyable and who is, on some days the only sane person in the world.
Tuesday, 6 March 2007
Little people
I thought it was time to put some photos of my nephews up here. They like pulling faces and are very talented at this. It seems a shame to waste this talent, so here it is..
Wednesday, 28 February 2007
Beauty of holiness...
I discovered something recently while reading Ezekiel.
I got to the bit where God is explaining what is holy (chapter 46). He goes through everything he's given Israel and says, 'This bit is mine, this is mine...' about land, people, etc. A bit like a bridal register I suppose, except that God owns already what he is saying is his.
The thing is though, God can't get through the chapter before he's already giving it away. It's not as everything he is claiming is just going to sit there unused while people go without. God takes some land, and then immediately gives it to his priests. He takes food, but gives that to his priests. And so on.
There are a whole raft of reasons why this is sociologically a good plan: priests less likely to become exploitative if they are provided for, priests less likely to depend on rich patrons and so become their mouthpiece, and so on and so forth. But this doesn't detract from God's generosity, even as it highlights his wisdom.
This has implications for us. We are supposed to be holy as he is holy (I Peter 1), and this means we belong to God and our first allegiance is to Jesus in all things. But becoming holy doesn't mean that we become distant from the people around us. In fact, as we become holy, we become better at and more willing to love others. So God imprints us with his brand, as his property, and that is then seen in our losing ourselves in the great task of loving others.
Ownership of things and people is an aspect of God's holiness. But it's not exactly capitalism, because God's way of owning things is to promptly shower gifts on any and everyone. God's way of 'doing holiness' isn't insufferable self-righteous smugness.
God makes holiness look beautiful.
I got to the bit where God is explaining what is holy (chapter 46). He goes through everything he's given Israel and says, 'This bit is mine, this is mine...' about land, people, etc. A bit like a bridal register I suppose, except that God owns already what he is saying is his.
The thing is though, God can't get through the chapter before he's already giving it away. It's not as everything he is claiming is just going to sit there unused while people go without. God takes some land, and then immediately gives it to his priests. He takes food, but gives that to his priests. And so on.
There are a whole raft of reasons why this is sociologically a good plan: priests less likely to become exploitative if they are provided for, priests less likely to depend on rich patrons and so become their mouthpiece, and so on and so forth. But this doesn't detract from God's generosity, even as it highlights his wisdom.
This has implications for us. We are supposed to be holy as he is holy (I Peter 1), and this means we belong to God and our first allegiance is to Jesus in all things. But becoming holy doesn't mean that we become distant from the people around us. In fact, as we become holy, we become better at and more willing to love others. So God imprints us with his brand, as his property, and that is then seen in our losing ourselves in the great task of loving others.
Ownership of things and people is an aspect of God's holiness. But it's not exactly capitalism, because God's way of owning things is to promptly shower gifts on any and everyone. God's way of 'doing holiness' isn't insufferable self-righteous smugness.
God makes holiness look beautiful.
Tuesday, 27 February 2007
Jindabyne
Jindabyne is the place of many thunderstorms. We were there last week for a holiday and we got a thunderstorm (or two!) every single day. 
Lots of omninous thunder, stark flashes of lightning and the marvellous sound and smell of rain - every day. We stayed at a friend's house with views like this... 
We did walks around the lake and I dreamt of wind-blown galleons in full flight.
I played lots of Civilisation IV and indulged my fantasy of taking over the world; Levor played lots of Galactic Civilisations and indulged his fantasy of taking over the universe. There were many glorious victories.
And I ate chocolate every single day. (I only eat chocolate on Sundays). It was an excellent week.
Now we're back in reality. We aren't in control of our own world. There is no lake outside our window. And it's four whole days till I can eat chocolate again.
Lots of omninous thunder, stark flashes of lightning and the marvellous sound and smell of rain - every day. We stayed at a friend's house with views like this... 
We did walks around the lake and I dreamt of wind-blown galleons in full flight.
I played lots of Civilisation IV and indulged my fantasy of taking over the world; Levor played lots of Galactic Civilisations and indulged his fantasy of taking over the universe. There were many glorious victories.
And I ate chocolate every single day. (I only eat chocolate on Sundays). It was an excellent week.
Now we're back in reality. We aren't in control of our own world. There is no lake outside our window. And it's four whole days till I can eat chocolate again.
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